What does a new mother need to feel supported and nurtured?

What does a new mother need to feel supported and nurtured?

8 minute read

What does a new mother need to feel supported and nurtured?

We are so excited and proud to begin this mini-series. We had the idea to put a very important question to some of the Mummas in our “village”. 

The question was… “What does a new mother need to feel supported and nurtured?” 

Over the coming weeks we will share with you what they had to say! If you would also like to share, please DM us xo

We are starting with some words from Daisy’s Mumma

“A “new” mother’s needs may be different for a 1st baby than for successive new babies. With the 1st there is absolutely everything to learn and a feeling of huge responsibility to get everything “right”. No matter how much previous experience with others’ babies, and I had plenty, I seriously felt the weight of being solely responsible for the life of a totally dependent being. So, being allowed the space, emotionally and psychologically, to get to know each other, to learn the language of my new baby (1st or otherwise) - and they know how to communicate their needs - amidst a safe, supportive environment is paramount. Support comes in myriad ways.... a patient, understanding ear, delicious, nutritious prepared meals, reassurance that looking after ourselves enables us to do the best for our babies.”

Mamma kisses baby

This is # 2 in our beautiful series.

What does a new mother need to feel supported and nurtured?

“When it comes to breastfeeding and weaning, it’s been important for me that the people around me fully support, respect and trust my own choices as a mother. There are so many opinions, views and approaches on how to parent, but mothers and fathers know what is best for them and their baby and need the support to make these decisions.” Lottie and baby Isaac xo

Mamma breastfeeding

Sometimes it’s the little things, that make a big difference! Take note, friends, family, partners! 

This is # 3 in our series. 

What does a new mother need to feel supported and nurtured?

 “A new mother requires understanding whilst they learn their new role in life. They are not going to instantly know how to be the perfect mother and they should be able to learn their way without judgement. Often exhausted due to having to get up several times during the night to feed the baby, they forget about themselves. Support in the way of a nice cup of tea or something scrummy to eat can actually feel like a luxury, particularly whilst baby is asleep and they have 5 minutes of peace and quiet!” Amy, Alfie & George x

Mamma and two sons

Cheryl, Tony and Baby Pierre

Cheryl provides installment # 4 of our series.

What does a new mother need to feel supported and nurtured?

“Back home in Singapore, it is customary for new mums to observe the confinement period of 30 days postpartum. During this period, the woman literally has a village - her mother, mother-in-law and aunties will visit and help with cooking, household chores and caring for the baby. It is common to hire a “confinement nanny”, an experienced older lady skilled in cooking nourishing and warming confinement foods and caring for newborn babies, who will live in with the new mum for the 30 day period.
In the absence of that “family village”, this role can be played by the husband and friends. Providing nourishment, helping around the household, holding the baby while mum takes a nap or shower and giving emotional support - these are things that give the new mum time and energy to learn, bond with and nourish her baby.”
Mum Dad Baby

Jane’s first experience of motherhood coincided with lockdown 1.0 and here we are again…

# 5 in our series

We asked her “What does a new mother need to feel supported and nurtured?”

She shared: “For me, having my first baby two weeks before lockdown, I needed my family. I was glad my mum and mother-in-law found it hard to stay away during that period. The meals delivered and time spent with them, we cherished ❤️”

She was one of the lucky ones to have friends, family and her “village” close by during this combination of challenging times.

“It Takes A Village” Artwork and Words by @_amysoulfire_ 

# 6 in our series. What does a new mother need to feel supported and nurtured?

“As a new mother, I remember wanting to feel nurtured, looked after and loved, like being wrapped up in a cloud. As women we are at our most vulnerable post-birth, and I wanted a feeling of being enveloped in love and support. Having food cooked and brought over for me for the physical aspect, emotional and spiritual nourishment are also so important. It really does take a village, and it’s not just a baby that gets born during birth, the mother does too”

it takes a village painting

Our very own Elle provides # 7 in our series

What does a new mother need to feel supported and nurtured?

As a new mother I faced challenges I never expected to - I couldn’t get Ben to breastfeed properly, he was losing weight, recovery from a c-section was rough - everything seemed very new and overwhelming. I am lucky that I had a good support network around me who gave me the time and space to adapt to my new life while still supporting me at every step. I was trying to feed around the clock, pumping after every feed, sterilising, doing it all again - that’s all I knew for about 3 or 4 weeks. Although it’s all a blur now, I remember people dropping food in, my mum driving for 40 minutes just to drop a meal, change our sheets and take our dirty washing. At that point I was just feeding for fuel, I couldn’t even tell you what I was eating. You switch overnight to being this new little human’s 24/7 slave - whatever they need, and that’s all that matters at that stage. And I think the most important thing for a new mum at that time is to be given the space but offered the support with no expectations. Not to be asked what they need help with - just do it - organise meals, send a cleaner, turn up to do a load of washing or offer to hold the baby but only while the mum showers or spends some time with her other children. True selfless support.

Elle and Ben

Ariane shares with us how she supported herself in # 8 of our series

What does a new mother need to feel supported and nurtured?

“The 4th trimester, when everything feels overwhelming in every sense of the word.

The main thing for me was not having an agenda, not having any expectations on myself, to take each day as it comes. Otis was born in the first lockdown of the pandemic so we didn’t have the help of loved ones, we were very much navigating the unknown, on our own. Leading up to his birth, I did a lot of batch cooking, what some might call ‘nesting’. Those frozen meals were something I was very grateful for in those early weeks of his life”

Ariane & Otis

We love all the different perspectives we have received to this question!

Kate and Elsie provide # 9 in our series. You can see the rest of the series in our highlights or on our website blog. Send us a DM if you would like to share your thoughts on the topic!

“You tend to receive the most support in the first weeks after birth, when the buzz is high and everyone is excited to meet your new arrival. While those first few weeks can be tough, for me the grind really started as the months went on, the hormones wore off and chronic sleep deprivation set in. This is when support is so crucial, to sustain new parents through the long days and weeks of life with a young baby.
I can’t recall how many times I got to 1pm and realized I hadn’t eaten or was still in my pajamas. Or went days without the chance to wash my hair, pick up around the house or get out for a walk. These seemingly small things can pile up and make the whole thing feel a bit inhumane. Anything that can be done to help give back a little bit of time for these basic needs is so much appreciated. Everything always feels better after a shower, a good meal and a nap.”

Kate & Elsie

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